Thursday, 17 January 2013

Scaly lizard talons?

Occasionally, I think that some of the visitors to this blog might end up just a bit disappointed.

This isn't due to some lack in the writing - which I think could be said to rival Shakespeare, Bronte, Shriver and even Rowling (most definitely JK) - or the pictures, which might even give Liebowitz pause for thought, but in the subject matter itself.

I know. I find it incredible too. Believe me, I can think of few more scintillating subjects than bunions and related issues, but the stats don't lie, and mine hint that the search terms people use to end up on here were intended to direct them somewhere else entirely.

Obviously, those readers who came here via the simple search terms of "bunion", "bunions" or even "bunion blog" will have been nothing less than delighted with the academic-level research combined with gentle O'Briain-style wit displayed herein.

But I suspect that those gentle readers drawn here by searches such as "cutting my toe" and the more obvious "dipping dangling" were looking for something slightly more risque.

I am of course assuming that the former is a further niche of the niche section of foot fetishism described in this post. Otherwise I can't begin to imagine what "cutting my toe" was intended to lead to, and I don't think I want to.

Although I like to think that the person searching for "cast and swollen toes" was less a member of the foot fetishist army - a foot soldier, if you will - than someone trying to research their own forthcoming surgery and to see what might become of their feet.

Otherwise the whole foot fetishism thing is getting way out of control.

Interestingly, searches for the three types of feet, or specifically for Greek feet, or Roman feet, although curiously not Egyptian feet, crop up at least once a week. Before I'd stumbled on this categorisation of feet, it would never have occurred to me that it was such a hot topic here on the internet. Who knew?

So, dear reader, should you have come here via some search terms you hoped would lead you to something different, perhaps even videos of women standing bored and indifferent as they slip their feet in and out of some cheap stilettos bought especially for your viewing - and I use the word quite specifically - pleasure, then I apologise.

But if you were hoping, as you searched, that you'd find a blog written by someone going out of her mind with boredom and frustration and desperate to get her casts off her feet before they turn entirely into scaly lizard talons, then welcome, you've come to the right place.

And if you ended up reading all of this because you just searched for "scaly lizard talons", let this be some consolation.

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