Two years on

Ah well, all my promises and good intentions of the last post almost a year ago were in vain. I'm still a bad blogger. But hey, I've had a lot going on. Like what? I hear you ask. Well, I had a(nother) baby and if that ain't a good enough excuse for not updating then I don't know what is.

The little man was born July 28, weighing 6lbs 15oz, and totally perfect. He came into the world in our living room in front of his excited big sister, who has been his most adoring fan ever since. Despite all the worries to do with the Factor V Leiden, thanks to the heparin shots the pregnancy was totally fine apart from one unexplained bleed probably caused by the thinners.

Of course, pregnancy took its toll on my feet. All women experience feet that swell, ache and generally change shape in pregnancy (and afterwards) and mine are no exception. He is now six months old and I do get achy feet, because I spend a lot of the day standing up with him in the sling, either getting him to sleep or just getting on with things.

Have I managed to wear heels at all? Sadly, no. I have tried a few times but they HURT. Big time. Not in my joints but the balls of my feel burn because I'm just not used to it and I'm not sure I can take going through the pain in order to build up a resistance again.

I wear flats because they're practical for my lifestyle, and as I only ever want to wear heels occasionally, if I go out, I just get a taxi, sit down a lot, or even take flats to change into. This week it's my 40th birthday (how did I get so old?!!) and while I really want to wear heels at my party (oh hell yeah I'm having a party!) I will probably end up in a pair of flats by the end of the night. Not least because I will be wearing my baby boy in the sling for a lot of it and he is heavy now - 15lbs.

So that's where I am right now. Not much has changed and I don't expect it's going to now, so I think heels are just down to whether I want to try and learn to wear them again, but other than that it's been the best decision I ever made - pain-free, pretty feet that are no longer disfigured or embarrassing.

I do intend to post occasionally, but generally my story is done, I think. Good luck to anyone undergoing this surgery, and do let me know how you get on. I love to read your comments and messages.

I am a terrible blogger - a long overdue update

I almost feel too ashamed to write this post. I am a very bad blogger. When I was reading other people's blogs before my operation, I noticed that most of them stopped around six months, had the occasional entry after that if you were lucky, then stopped without notice.

I swore that would not be me.

And yet...the last time I wrote on this blog was six months after my operation and now it is well over a year since I had it done and I haven't updated since.

In mitigation, I have thought of you. I took pictures of my feet when I went on holiday last June, and of shoes I've bought, and I've composed posts in my head.

But you guys can't read my head. So I'm sorry. Especially as I see I have had 43,000 views and get around 2,000 a month and there has been nothing new for anyone to read.

No doubt you're all on tenterhooks wanting to know how my scars are, what shoes I'm wearing, and did the bokey nail ever get sorted?

I keep intending to do proper, backdated updates in chronological order, but I now realise that isn't going to happen, so what you're getting instead is a general update here, and then more detailed ones in no particular order as I find the time.

So, in general my feet are awesome! My scars are just thin silver lines that are barely visible. I am so incredibly pleased about this as for a long time they were still pink and looked like they might stay a dark purple, but they have completely faded now and look great.

My toes aren't straight. I did do a post where I was worried about this, but I think it's just my natural foot shape - either that or very strong muscles and tendons which insist on doing their own thing. So my big toes gently bend towards my other toes, but there is no bunion bump, the toes go a lot straighter when I'm standing on them than when they are in repose, and they look like totally normal feet, which was the aim after all.

I have no pain. None. My feet did used to get tired and sore but that hasn't happened for months now. I can be on them all day and they are completely OK. I did get my osteopath to massage them last time I went, but I think all feet need a little TLC occasionally, and it's nice to get a foot massage (the hubby hates feet so won't be offering this side of eternity).

As for shoes, this is the disappointing part. I will do a post on shoes, but in a nutshell, I can't wear high heels at all, I can wear low ones only for an hour or so and if they have a strap to hold my foot in and I walk really slowly, and I get a lot of pain under the balls of my feet if I try.

Currently I'm living in flats and flat boots (depending on the weather) and looking forward to getting my pretty sandals out in summer. I use my orthotics as much as I can (not in heels or sandals) and mostly I still wear the spacers, too, although I probably don't need to.

Any my toenail? Well, I got a treatment from the GP that you paint on your nail. I wasn't always great at remembering to do it, and expected it to take years to sort out, but by Christmas (so within six months of starting treatment) it was healed! I now have a totally normal toenail again. Which is a result.

So that's my whistlestop tour update. I will post better updates in more detail, with pictures, but at least this is something, huh?

I do read all your comments, even if I don't always reply (bad blogger, again) so do post me messages and I promise I will get better at blogging again. I was just too busy enjoying the freedom of happy, pain-free feet :)

21 weeks - approaching normality

HUGE APOLOGIES! I thought I'd published this but it was still in my drafts. Sorry! I think I was going to add some pictures, but instead I'll just get this posted and do pictures for you another time. I do have videos I've been doing but I have so much trouble getting them uploaded to YouTube I may give up on them. Anyway, hope this is still useful/interesting and I'll get writing more I promise.

*should have been published a month ago, whoops*

It's been three weeks since my last update, and I'm now 21 weeks post-surgery.

Last week I picked up my new, custom, orthotics from the hospital. That marked the end of my hospital appointments at the Royal Berks, apart from when I need the orthotics replacing in about two years' time.

The orthotics are as slim as they can make them. You can see from the picture that they are really thin, but the curve of them where they support my arch and heel means that they push my foot up, which means I need to be careful what kind of shoes I wear.

I am working on a post looking at shoes, but basically my orthotist would like me to wear big, clunky shoes with very rounded toes, either completely closed or with a wide strap, and generally pretty ugly.

So far I've found I can wear my orthotics in my flat ballerinas, which have a rounded toe, because although they have no strap they grip the back of my heel and my heel doesn't slip out of shoe when I walk, which is often a problem with very open shoes.

I also wear a pair of sporty styled shoes with two velcro straps over the foot.

As the weather warms up, I probably won't wear the orthotics as often as I should, because you cannot wear them in sandals, but I do make sure that I am conscious of my foot positioning and pronation, and I hope that will be enough to make up for it. I'll definitely wear them all winter.

Right now, I can't wear them the whole time anyway. The orthotist told me I had to build it up by wearing them for half an hour the first day, then an hour the next day, and two hours the next, and so on.

I find they do make my feet and legs ache, because the muscles are adjusting to the new positioning, so I'm still working on increasing the time. I can't wear them in the house unless I wear shoes inside, and I usually wear slippers, so it's taking me longer to build the time up, but I think that's OK.

I also saw my physiotherapist again. I know Ed has been reading the blog, so "Hello Ed!" *waves*

I had to admit I've not been doing my exercises as much as I should have been, because they make me hurt, so I have promised that over the next month I will do them regularly, and wear my orthotics, and hopefully when I go again he will discharge me.

I did go back to yoga and have done two sessions now. Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I expected.

During my recovery I have been making sure I did foot exercises, and calf stretches, and I found I was no where near as stiff as I thought I'd be. My teacher, Minna (who also reads this so "Hi Minna!" *waves again*) does try to tell me to take it easy but I like to push myself and I never do anything that is painful.

As expected, it was a challenge to roll over my toes to go from all fours into downward dog, for example, but I either do it one foot at a time, or I do both together but put a lot of my weight onto my hands and arms.

Over time, it will definitely get back to normal, I'm sure.

I am actually really pleased with my recovery; with my range of motion and with my lack of pain. I know I've worked hard on my recovery but I also feel very lucky and blessed.

I do still have the problem with my toenail on my left foot, but I can now see that there is a new nail growing under the old one, and the old one is growing out, so in six months that is going to be back to normal. It's irritating, but a temporary annoyance.

So there we are! I'm still doing my exercises, building up my general stamina for walking and standing, and sometimes overdoing it a bit! Some days I'm fine, some days my legs and feet really ache, but the progress is in the right direction and soon, in terms of medical appointments, I'll be flying solo!

As usual, please ask any questions or make any comments below.

18 weeks - progress and an update

We are so overdue a post, and I have not told you about quite a few appointments, that I almost don't know where to start with this. Which is partly why I've not posted, because I'm one of those people who becomes overcome with procrastination when I am behind with things. Even though that just makes it worse! I know, I'm weird.

Anyway, it's been six weeks since I last updated. Then, I was finding driving challenging, limping on the foot the orthotist had yanked the toe of, getting more mobile, and due to go back to the hospital.

Now, I have been discharged from the hospital, I've been back to the orthotist (who was nice this time!) and had my feet cast for custom orthotics, and had two physio sessions.

At my discharge appointment I was very disappointed that, once again, I did not get to see my surgeon! So I haven't seen Mr Nugent since he changed my casts at 2 weeks, and won't get to see him ever again!

Is it just me, or is that weird? I really wanted to hear how HE felt it had all gone, but that's not going to happen. I did consider phoning his office and arranging to see him, but I never got around to it (see, it's that procrastination again) and now I guess I can't see the point. But it would have been nice.

Going back to the orthotist was interesting. Mainly because I spent hours beforehand trying to buy some shoes that would fit my standard orthotics, only to be told by her that I should wait till I got my custom ones. Just as well I didn't buy anything!

She had a really good look at my feet, and commented that I have good control over my tendency to overpronate (roll my feet in). I do work hard to remember to hold them straight, and it's starting to become a subconscious thing now, so that's good, as I believe that will also help my knee problems a bit.

I'm waiting for my custom orthotics to be made. They cast your feet using oasis - the stuff florists use - in a shoe box. They just just push each foot into it and then make a cast from that, then use that cast to make the orthotics.

It hurt a bit doing the oasis, because she pushed my foot down first and my toes bent up a bit, so on the next foot I asked her to push the toes down at the same time, which was much better.

I go back to get them on April 22 and then I will have to try and find some vaguely attractive shoes that will accommodate them! I've been researching already, and will do another post on that.

As for physio, Ed is very patient with the fact that I don't do my exercises as much or as often as I should! He actually is a really great physio and listens to my silly worries and then works with me to see what we can do about them, which is fantastic.

I really need to video and photograph all of them, but I already told you about the one with the elastic band in this post, and now I also have a resistance band that I have to use to work the muscles that lie along the sole of my foot and around my ankle.

I hook it around a leg of the kitchen table, then put my foot in it with the band around the big toe side, and kind of scoop my foot. The instructions say "as if to look at the sole of your foot". I'm supposed to do this 10-20 times, two times, and twice a day, building up to three to four sets of 20, once a day.

It is extremely hard work. More so than you'd imagine. And so I'm a bit lax about it which is bad, but I do try and keep up with all my exercises as much as possible. There just seem so many now!

I do have a video of me doing it, which I made a few weeks ago, and I'll upload it to YouTube and get it posted soon.

Last time I went to see Ed, we talked about how scary it is for me to do things like sit back on my heels with my toes tucked under. Like this:




So we talked about some things I can do to improve my ability to do that without the frankly frightening levels of pain it currently causes.

He also measured my progress in terms of being able to go on tiptoe. Previously, I was achieving 35 degrees, but now I have improved to 45 degrees. I'm really pleased with that, and hope to improve it further.

Last time I posted about physio, I said that 35 degrees was two third of what Ed can do, which means he can manage about 53 degrees, by my rudimentary maths. So that's something to aim for, and maybe I could even improve on it?! (competitive, me?)

Finally, in this quick round-up of the past six weeks, I'll end with the letter I received from Mr Sikranth Kodali, the doctor I saw at my discharge appointment at the Royal Berks.

He was writing to my GP, and summed up my progress as: "She is having mild discomfort in her big toes otherwise she is doing fine. I can see her excellent range of motion in the first MTP joint and the osteotomy site is solid. All the X-rays done before are satisfactory. She is not 100 per cent happy as the correction of the big toe is not 100 per cent straight. I explained to her that there is always five to seven degrees of distal interphalangeeal joint angle, but otherwise the overall alignment is absolutely fine.

"She can slowly build up her activities over the next six weeks and I am pleased to discharge her."

That last bit was something of a surprise. I didn't remember him saying that to me, and so I'd pretty much gone back to normal, but from the aching and pain that followed it's obvious I should have eased myself back in a bit more. Although how I'd have done that I don't know - after a while people expect you to be back to normal and the help and support dries up, understandably.

Anyway, as of tomorrow I'm past that magical six weeks and so I'm hoping to see improvements in my stamina. Currently, my feet and knees ache almost constantly again, but more of that in my next post, which will be about all the things I am able to do now. It's a long list, hurrah!

Two hospitals, one day, and three orthotics.

Thursday was a busy day, and not just because it was Valentine's Day and I was sorting through my large pile of cards from admirers for the best part of the morning.

Lol.

Actually, I did end up with three cards - one from the hubby and two from the Little Lady, bless her - but I was busy because I had two hospital visits.

The first was at the Royal Berks to the orthotics department. You may remember I'd asked to be referred when I had my casts off, and the appointment came through very fast.

It turns out that it came through too fast, and I have to go back in a month, but I did have a full appointment anyway.

I saw someone called Emma. I'm not sure what her title was because I didn't catch it (does anyone ever? They just rush their name and title at you as soon as you walk in and I'm lucky if I remember their name) and she isn't listed on the department's web page so I can't look her up.

What can I say about her? She was young, probably mid to late 20s, she was Scottish...oh yes, she nearly crippled me.

Obviously she needed to examine my feet, but she took hold of my left big toe, grabbed it and then YANKED it up towards the ceiling!

I nearly hit her!

It was so painful, but she didn't feel the need to apologise. She just carried on.

I did ask her to be more gentle, and we managed the rest of the examination without incident, although afterwards she said "I thought you were going to assault me". If I had, I'd only have been returning the favour!

I wasn't very impressed with Scottish Emma, which is a shame as we share both a name and a heritage, but she told me all about how bunions are not caused by anything at all, and are not only purely genetic (that bit's true) but "just happen". Hmmm. Not what almost every other medical professional will say, but she certainly seemed to believe it.

Another medic to add to my "do not believe" list I guess.

I came away with some insoles for my shoes, with added-on bits supposedly making them a bit more tailored to my feet.

When I go back they will see whether I need custom-made ones, which was what they were going to make for me this time but can't. The ones I was given cost £50 while the custom ones cost £150, so I imagine they'll try to avoid making some for me if possible.

This is what they look like.




The coloured bits are the added-on sections.

And this is the box, in case you're interested. Emma told me that it is cheaper to buy them direct from Talar so if you want to get some then this is the box to look for. I had a look on their website and am not sure which ones are mine exactly, but they definitely are cheaper direct.







Emma told me to wear them for short periods and build up to a full day because the foot has to get used to a new position. I figured that I am a) not walking much and b) getting used to new foot function anyway, so I'd just wear them whenever I wear my trainers.

That appointment done with, and a new one booked for next month (at which I hope I get someone else), I went to my local hospital in the afternoon for a physio assessment.

Townlands Hospital is a cute community hospital which has been saved from closure numerous times, although much of it has been shut down, including the maternity unit. These days if you want your child to be born in the town then you have to have a home birth (which is exactly what I did, although not for that reason).

We still have one building left, which houses the minor injuries unit (like a mini A&E, very useful) and the physio department, plus X-ray facilities, and other things such as clinics. My first appointment with Mr Nugent was at Townlands; it's an excellent facility to have.

Enough eulogising!

My appointment was with Ed. Unlike the RBH physio bit I went to while on Hunter ward, which was like a storecupboard, Townlands has a large room filled with equipment, although there was only Ed and me there.

We chatted about my history and operation, and Ed had a look and tested my mobility.

Sadly, because nobody measured my mobility before my op, we don't really know how much I have lost. Ed says there's no 'normal' so it's impossible to say, which is a shame really.

But what I do have is the ability to bend my toe 35 degrees, which is about two-thirds of what Ed can achieve, so I'm not doing too badly. I am pretty hypermobile, so I probably had much more than that, but average will suit me fine.

Apparently my toes are weak and stiff, but that's only to be expected really. Thankfully, Ed approves of all my exercises (see here and here) and just added in one more, which uses an elastic band (very high-tech!) as a resistance band for my big toes.

Basically I have to use the band to pull my toe in one direction, like towards me, then use my toe to push against that the other way, then swap and do it in the other direction. This will build up my strength in my toes.

Ed also had a look at my orthotics, and devised me a different one, for my most painful foot. It's a short-term fix for my pain when walking. The idea is that my other toes are lifted up so that when I propel off from my toes the big toe doesn't have so far to travel.

In the short-term this will help me learn a new gait or way of walking that is correct, as at the moment I'm tending to either walk stiffly, or to propel off the side of my foot.

This orthotic looks like this:




It's basically made from thin foam board (probably not the proper name for it) like the stuff you can get for crafts, and some cut up pieces of that padded sticky stuff (also not the proper name) that you can get from Boots, like this.

All very Blue Peter, but it does work.

One thing you might notice is that it has been cut to my actual foot shape. Yes, that is my actual foot shape! Amazing. I'm so pleased.

I see Ed again in a couple of weeks. Our goals are to maximise mobility and minimise pain, so we shall see if we can manage it.

Ed did say he might read the blog, so if you are reading Ed, then hello!

A letter from my surgeon

You may remember the rather unsatisfactory dicsussion I had with a doctor the last time I went to hospital, to have my casts removed.

If you don't, then you can read about it here, but basically he told me I could wear any shoes I wanted from that point on, I could drive within a few days, and didn't need to do any exercises or have physiotherapy.

I was deeply unhappy with that advice because I felt that it was, not to put too fine a point on it, wrong.

So I called my surgeon's secretary, who was lovely and agreed to print out an email from me and give it to Mr Nugent.

So I did that on the Wednesday after my Tuesday appointment. On Friday afternoon I realised I'd had a bounceback to my spam folder (doh!) so I resent it. And then I waited.

It took a long time, due mainly I think to the actual time it took for the letter to be posted, but last week I received a letter with some responses to my questions.

I had asked:

Should I be wearing trainers?

Can I walk barefoot in the house? Or should I wear the velcro shoes?

Should I be doing some exercises? The doctor yesterday said no but I have heard of just gently moving the toe up and down, and raising the foot on the toes, to increase the range of motion, and if appropriate I would like to do that - is it OK?

The doctor also said I could drive next week but I don't feel I'll be ready. When is normal to go back to driving?

My middle left toe is very red, swollen and feels bruised, and kept me awake with agonising pain last night despite me taking two codeine tablets. I think the cast has been pressing on it and has bruised it. Is this likely and should I be doing anything?

The doctor told me I could rub Bio Oil on my incisions to help the scars, so I am doing that. Is there anything else I should be doing for scar management?

How much walking should I try to do? I feel very unstable and sore, and not sure how much would be too much?

Also, the skin on my foot where the cast was is very tender, feels gritty and is a speckled red, is that OK? I rubbed all the dead skin off by hand in the bath last night so maybe I was bit enthusiastic?

Can I take the spacers out when I have a bath or do they need to be in 24/7?

My right spacer is very uncomfortable under the adjacent toe when I walk - can I cut it to make it less lumpy or is it possible to get a new one made?

So many questions! But in my opinion they should all have been answered at the appointment, without me having to ask. I'd say they are fairly basic.

Mr Nugent was comprehensive in his reply, which I've photographed removing my identifying information. I hope you can read it. I think that if you click on each picture it will open up an enlarged version for you.

He has said everything I expected to hear, really.

Yes, I need to wear trainers.

Yes, I need physiotherapy.

No, I can't drive immediately.

Yes, I can trim the spacers. Although I didn't expect to be told I could stop wearing them at nine weeks. I'm choosing to continue to wear them.

Yes I need to exercise although walking should be sufficient. I'm choosing to do some specific exercises as detailed in these posts, though, because I think they are useful.

So that's good to know. But I think that such basic information should be in a printed sheet and handed out at follow-up appointments so people don't have to ask, be misinformed, and chase.

Imagine if I'd followed the other doctor's advice? I could easily have ruined my feet. That's not good for anyone; me, or the NHS. I really do think it's time the follow-up care matched the quality of the surgery.

Recovery without casts - the first few days

Well, the first night after the casts came off was agony. Not in my big toes, but in my left middle toe.

When the casts were removed, I noticed that toe was very red. It seemed like it had been crushed by the cast over the previous five weeks and when I touched it, it felt bruised, so I decided in my wisdom that what it needed was a massage.

Bad idea.

Massaging it sparked off agonising pain that continued for hours. I took two codeine at 2.15am but they didn't seem to do anything, and by 3.15am I was nearly crying, and wanting to bang my head against the wall to distract myself from my toe.

I must have fallen asleep eventually because I woke up in the morning and thankfully it had stopped hurting, but I haven't dared touch that toe since! I have asked Mr Nugent on email about it, in case I should see someone.

In fact, today (Friday) is three days after the casts were removed and the toe has a purple spot on it in the middle of the red, so I think my bruising/crushing theory is probably right. I guess it's just going to take time to heal.

Here's what it looked like yesterday (Thursday) two days after the casts came off.

You can see how sore and inflamed it is.

The day after the removal, the Little Lady went to preschool so I spent the day rubbing cream into my feet, especially on the scars, and trying to manage to put my weight fully through the forefoot.

It felt really sore and tight, especially around the incisions, and I was amazed at how little flexibility I have right now.

Yesterday, I put my trainers on (no pictures, I can't bear it!) and walked the Little Lady to and from preschool at both ends of the day.

What is a mere 0.4 miles, and takes five minutes at adult pace or around 15 minutes at child pace, took me TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES.

And I had to go back again as well. So it was just under an hour for drop-off, then I rested until it was time to fetch her, and did just under an hour of shuffling again.

Big mistake.

My feet swelled up, were very sore, and today my legs and hips are aching like I ran a marathon! Crazy.

It doesn't help that my right toe spacer feels lumpy under the next toe, and when I walk (shuffle) it is painful as it digs in. I've emailed Mr Nugent to ask if it's OK if I cut it down a bit to try and stop that happening as I need to be able to put my weight through my foot.

I have some pictures I took yesterday of my scars. All the dead skin has come off now, and although they are still very dry and need a lot of cream, they're pretty much back to normal skin-wise.

Here they are looking great.

Look at those straight toes! *big grin*

And have a look at my scars! I am beyond delighted with how they are looking.

I am so pleased. Obviously they are still pinky red right now, but they are so thin and neat! Mr Nugent has done a fantastic job and I can tell that when they do go silver they will be hardly visible.

I know that's a bit of a vain concern, but it is important to me tthat my feet look as normal as possible in future.

The only thing I'm disappointed about right now is how little range of motion I have in my toes, but that's for the next post.

The big reveal part 2. Doctor's verdict.

OK, I teased you a bit in that last post, but what's a little anticipation between friends?

Back at the orthopaedics department, we were called straight in and then waited for quite a while in a side room.

There were big signs everywhere saying "do not take pictures in here" I think mainly to stop you photographing your own X-rays, but laughably claiming it was to "protect your information". Right, not to encourage me to pay a fee to access my own information from you later, then. Of course not. Ahem.

So I took off the velcro shoes, and waited on the bed.

This was my view.

You can see how much of the steri strips I let the plaster lady pull off before I wimped out. My skin is still yellow from the stuff they paint on before surgery, and if you look closely you can see how dry and flaky my skin is.

At this point, I thought the worst dryness was on the top of my foot, near my ankle, and on the balls of my feet, where I could see it cracking.

After quite a while waiting a doctor came in to see me, but it wasn't Mr Nugent.

I have to say I wasn't happy about that. I had wanted to see my surgeon, and my dissatisfaction was exacerbated when this doctor - I didn't catch his name - said "Right, we'll get new casts on you then".

What?!

"Er," I said. "I've had them on for seven weeks, I thought they came off today."

"Oh yes," he said. "That's right, I thought you were at two weeks."

Really NOT confidence inspiring!

I was not happy. I asked him my questions about driving, exercises, shoes, and he told me "You can wear any shoes. You can drive on Monday. You don't need to do toe exercises. But don't exercise till you come back at 12 weeks."

Right.

So Mr Nugent told me to bring trainers, which I bought especially with money I don't really have, and now I'm told I can wear anything? And I don't need to do any exercises to improve my range of motion? And I can drive in six days' time?

I call BS on that, frankly.

I was, and am, really unhappy with that appointment. I feel that the doctor was not fully informed and I really wish I could have seen Mr Nugent.

Before I left, he got me to walk a little but I was SO SCARED that I couldn't really do it, and just put my weight on my heels. I was terrified of being in pain.

So I hobbled over to the computer and he showed me my X-rays. To be honest, I wouldn't know how good it was. I could see where the bone had been cut and moved, but without the old ones next to them, it was hard to tell anything really.

I want to know if Mr Nugent is happy with them, as he is my surgeon, but more of that later.

So, unsure about the shoes thing I put the velcro shoes on to go home and once we'd got the Little Lady to bed I ran myself a lovely warm bath so I could start de-flaking my feet.

If you want to see lots of pictures of that (my feet, not me nekkid in the bath) then look out for part 3 which is coming soon.

Another day, another pair of shoes (with pictures)

With just a week to go before I get my casts off (eight more sleeps!) I thought I'd share with you the extremely unattractive velcro shoes I've been wearing since the operation, the really quite unattractive trainers I've had to buy to wear for the next however-many weeks, and the simply beautiful heels I hope one day to be able to wear.

First-up, the velcro beauties. I've had to wear these all the time since the operation. They have a hard solid sole that doesn't bend, to protect my joints as they heal.

They are black, fasten with velcro, only come in one orientation (there's no left and right, each shoe is exactly the same) and are frankly awful.

As you can see, they are particularly clunky and in my opinion they don't even fit! My toes hang over the end so they feel really vulnerable.

I cannot wait to be rid of these.

Originally I planned to spray paint them a metallic blue and then paint the soles red as a cheeky nod to Louboutin. But the spraying needed to be done outside, so I had to ask the hubby to do it...nuff said.

Anyway, as of next Tuesday I'll be able to wear trainers.

Many of you might be thinking "that's great". That would be people who like trainers. I hate them.

I am still seething at having had to spend my money on a pair of trainers, and although I tried to find the most attractive pair I could (attractive trainers, surely an oxymoron) I'm not happy. It's partly because, obviously, I can't try them on.

This is them.

I think they are maybe just about bearable.

Let's have a closer look at the metallic details.

I am a little concerned that they are too narrow in the forefoot, but luckily I bought them from Schuh who have a 365-day returns policy! As long as they are in saleable condition, I have a whole year to send them back. So when I go to the hospital next week I'll also take some other trainery things and the surgeon can choose what he thinks is best.

Worst case scenario: he says no to all of them.

Then I'll just wear the velcro beauties home and get ordering more from Schuh! At least I'll be able to try them on by then.

And lastly, here are the aspirational shoes for the future, my £16 Next bargain beauties.

Aren't they lovely?

Let's just have a close-up of those adorable sequins.

I'm looking forward to wearing them - maybe for Regatta in July. Well, it's good to have a goal.

Shoes! (with pictures)

Anyone who knows me, knows I love a good shoe. I think until I had the Little Lady I was, to paraphrase John Lewis, never knowingly in flats.

I adored heels. I am a woman who once threw out 40, yes, FORTY, pairs of shoes and STILL had 70 pairs left. That is how much of an Imelda I am.

I have shoes in the porch cupboard, shoes in the spare room, a whole cabinet in the bedroom devoted to shoes, and still yet more shoes in my wardrobe. I wouldn't be surprised to open a kitchen cupboard and find a pair (especially not having seen the state of the kitchen this morning! Eek! My husband is definitely NOT a clean freak).

So when I was offered a VIP slot for the Next Christmas sale, I kinda had to go have a look, and of course none of the clothes I liked had been reduced but there were a number of pairs of super-cute shoes just crying out for a new home.

So far, only two of the three pairs I ordered have come. I also did order a lovely dress which I'm hoping will arrive in time for my birthday. It's sparkly and glam and only really a Going Out Out dress, which usually I don't buy because I rarely go Out Out these days, but it was cheap and it has small sleeves (rare on a nice dress) and, and...

Anyway, so I thought I'd share with you the two pairs I have received so far. Now, I know I won't be wearing these any time soon. I'm thinking maybe next winter they will get a chance to be on my feet. I have no intention of rushing my recovery, but at £16 a pair - yes, that's right, just £16 a pair - I figure that if they end up not fitting I can just sell them on.

The first pair I think might be OK before winter. They are a mid heel, and fairly wide, with a strap over the front for security (we all know that open court shoes, or pumps for my American readers, make you use your toes to keep them on), and they are just the most funkalicious leopard print on ponyskin too! (Actually, it is probably cheaper cow hide, but it has a lovely hairy feel.)

Look at that darling cone heel!

I know they're pointy, but I reckon that occasional wearings won't be too bad. I've definitely read that other people who've had this surgery can wear normal shoes later on, and if I am careful I'm hopeful I won't have to sell on my entire shoe collection.

The other pair are a bit naughty really. They are high, too high really for operated-on feet, but they are silver teamed with nude croc! I mean, who could resist? Add in an ankle strap (one of my weaknesses) and a peep toe (another one) and I could not refuse these shoes if you paid me.

Beautiful, huh?

I'll share the other pair with you as soon as they arrive later this month. Suffice to say: high banana heel, nude suede, cross-over peep toe detail...

The big reveal! Sort of. With pictures.

So. You're all here for The Grand Unveiling, yes? The big reveal. The moment of "ta-daa".

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but the hospital visit wasn't quite what I expected.

Yes, the casts were removed, and yes, there are pictures of my feet, but they were quickly wrapped up again and put in new casts which I have to keep on for another four weeks. I know! I thought it was a long time too!

So, we get another Big Reveal in a months' time. Or actually, in five weeks' time because for some reason my next appointment is January 22, just the day before my birthday (hint, hint).

But you want to know all about today, no?

My lovely hubby drove me and the Little Lady to the drop-off point, then parked the car while I laboriously crutched my way through the hospital to the reception to meet him, and to catch the 'buggy bus' to the clinic.

It took me ages to get there - it's the longest I've 'walked' since the operation and I was pretty exhausted. I was glad to get on the buggy bus to go to the clinic.

I checked in, and was sent off to be irradiated.

As I went into the X-ray room, the technician, who looked younger than me, said "Oh you've had both done! I didn't think you could have both at the same time."

It turned out that she had had one bunion done in February this year, although not by Mr Nugent, and she needed the other one doing but "can't afford another six weeks off work".

That's one reason I had mine done together - the recovery is slightly more awkward because you don't have even one good foot, but once it's done, it's done.

The technician had metal screws in her foot, whereas my pins will dissolve, so we had slightly different procedures, but she showed me her foot and how straight her big toe is now, and I started to get a little bit excited about seeing mine.

She did two X-rays of each foot, sent them through to Mr Nugent, and I went back to the clinic where he was waiting to enact the reveal.

First, Mr Nugent cut off the bandages, and then he simply wiggled and slid the casts off my feet. I did brace myself for some pain but it was actually just really tickly! I'm not good with having my feet touched so it was hilarious.

I was pretty amazed by how my feet looked. They are so thin! Now the lump of the bunion has gone my whole foot shape has changed. Yes, I know that's the point but I just could not envisage it until I saw it. It's incredible.

There wasn't much time to take pictures, because as soon as they were uncovered, Mr Nugent was making some toe separators out of quick-hardening putty (which the Little Lady was pleased to note was pink) and then wrapping my feet up again in some fluffy padding, before putting a new cast on.

He then taped bandages over the cast, just like before, and there we were. Done.

"The X-rays look good," he said, almost as an aside. And that was it.

Actually, there was a teensy bit of gossip but I'll share that on another post. This one is all about me!

So here we go with the pictures. The initial rating on the Grimometer is zero.

In this first one, Mr Nugent has removed the cast from my right foot and is making the putty toe separator by moulding it between my toes and letting it harden. You can see that he has cut the bandage on my left foot, and it is hanging loose round my ankle.

In this next one, he has removed the cast from the left foot, and the toe separator on the right is hardening. This gives you a real idea of the new shape of my feet. They are amazeballs!

My left toes look like I'm holding them funny, but that's just how they were. I was too scared to wiggle them! I guess once I'm back in shoes and walking around they'll start to settle down.

So here are both feet with new toe separators. You can see the fading arrows on my feet from the surgery, and the slight tan I appear to have is the yellow antiseptic stuff they paint onto you prior to operating.


If you've been waiting for the grimometer warning, here it is. The next few pictures show my steri-strip stitches. I don't personally think it looks that grim, but I'll give it a 5/10 rating. If you want to avoid them, I suggest scrolling to the very bottom then slowly working back up till you see a picture of my feet wrapped in fluffy stuff. Stop there and read from that point.

Here's a small break so you don't unexpectedly see the pictures of the stitches. Off you go squeamish ones!

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OK, those with strong stomaches still with me? Here we go!

So these are the steri-strip stitches on my right foot. The incision is getting on for three inches long. In this one, the new shape of my foot looks like it might be Roman (see this post) which is interesting. I guess the Greek shape had only appeared because of my bunions making the big toes look shorter, because of the angle they leant at. And it means the Little Lady does have my feet, so I'll have to make sure I look after them.

Another angle of the same foot. That's Mr Nugent lurking in the background.

The left foot's stitches. There's a bit more blood here, which might be why this one has been slightly more painful.


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The next photos are back to zero on the Grimometer scale. Squeamish people can rejoin the post here.

All wrapped up in fluffy padding and waiting for a new cast.

And here they are back at home in the new casts. They don't look much different, but actually the circumference of each cast is just over an inch less than the old ones, which shows how much swelling there was immediately after surgery.

I don't think my feet are swollen at all now. They certainly didn't look it today.

I think they looked amazing, and I am so excited to get them properly unwrapped in five weeks' time!

Shoes off? I'm off!

The thing about bunions is that, generally, it's possible to hide them from people. It might limit your shoe choices a bit, but I've found I can buy even strappy shoes and sandals and, with careful attention to where straps fall or how wide they are, I can still hide the fact that my feet are fugly. And no, I don't mean that in a 'fashion ugly' way.

So the relatively new phenomenon of insisting that your visitors remove their shoes on entry strikes fear into my heart.

Just last night I went to a house party. Actually, party might be too strong a word, but it was to celebrate a friend's 40th by giving her a suprise get-together, so there was general glamming-up and much drinking of Prosecco.

I decided to go for a glamorous Mummy kind of look (we all know each other because we have children) and wear a simple fitted top with a sequinned skirt, opaques, and some nude strappies*. So far so good.

Except that when I arrived, I was told by another friend "I think it's shoes off."

Instantly, my heart sank. Shoes off? With no warning? That meant I either had to go home and get some slippers or socks to wear, or I had to spend the evening trying to sit on both my feet or tuck them under the sofa.

In the past, I've done that. Literally sat on my feet all night while they went numb,then risked the pins and needles (or 'razy feet' as I have for some reason always called them)at the end of the night as the blood flowed painfully back in.

But that was before the bunions had got so bad that someone even glimpsing my feet wasn't something I wanted to risk.

Luckily, our hostess took it in her stride when I cornered her in the kitchen and explained my dilemma and asked to borrow some socks or slippers.

"Oh just keep them on" she said. So I did, very gratefully.

You see, it's not all about the pain, this surgery. It's also about the vanity.


*Yes, heels. The pain is now so bad it doesn't matter what I wear. The bunions hurt in slippers. Which in a funny way is freeing, because I may as well wear heels, so all my semi-retired shoes are getting a last-minute reprieve before surgery banishes them again for a while.