Two years on

Ah well, all my promises and good intentions of the last post almost a year ago were in vain. I'm still a bad blogger. But hey, I've had a lot going on. Like what? I hear you ask. Well, I had a(nother) baby and if that ain't a good enough excuse for not updating then I don't know what is.

The little man was born July 28, weighing 6lbs 15oz, and totally perfect. He came into the world in our living room in front of his excited big sister, who has been his most adoring fan ever since. Despite all the worries to do with the Factor V Leiden, thanks to the heparin shots the pregnancy was totally fine apart from one unexplained bleed probably caused by the thinners.

Of course, pregnancy took its toll on my feet. All women experience feet that swell, ache and generally change shape in pregnancy (and afterwards) and mine are no exception. He is now six months old and I do get achy feet, because I spend a lot of the day standing up with him in the sling, either getting him to sleep or just getting on with things.

Have I managed to wear heels at all? Sadly, no. I have tried a few times but they HURT. Big time. Not in my joints but the balls of my feel burn because I'm just not used to it and I'm not sure I can take going through the pain in order to build up a resistance again.

I wear flats because they're practical for my lifestyle, and as I only ever want to wear heels occasionally, if I go out, I just get a taxi, sit down a lot, or even take flats to change into. This week it's my 40th birthday (how did I get so old?!!) and while I really want to wear heels at my party (oh hell yeah I'm having a party!) I will probably end up in a pair of flats by the end of the night. Not least because I will be wearing my baby boy in the sling for a lot of it and he is heavy now - 15lbs.

So that's where I am right now. Not much has changed and I don't expect it's going to now, so I think heels are just down to whether I want to try and learn to wear them again, but other than that it's been the best decision I ever made - pain-free, pretty feet that are no longer disfigured or embarrassing.

I do intend to post occasionally, but generally my story is done, I think. Good luck to anyone undergoing this surgery, and do let me know how you get on. I love to read your comments and messages.

I am a terrible blogger - a long overdue update

I almost feel too ashamed to write this post. I am a very bad blogger. When I was reading other people's blogs before my operation, I noticed that most of them stopped around six months, had the occasional entry after that if you were lucky, then stopped without notice.

I swore that would not be me.

And yet...the last time I wrote on this blog was six months after my operation and now it is well over a year since I had it done and I haven't updated since.

In mitigation, I have thought of you. I took pictures of my feet when I went on holiday last June, and of shoes I've bought, and I've composed posts in my head.

But you guys can't read my head. So I'm sorry. Especially as I see I have had 43,000 views and get around 2,000 a month and there has been nothing new for anyone to read.

No doubt you're all on tenterhooks wanting to know how my scars are, what shoes I'm wearing, and did the bokey nail ever get sorted?

I keep intending to do proper, backdated updates in chronological order, but I now realise that isn't going to happen, so what you're getting instead is a general update here, and then more detailed ones in no particular order as I find the time.

So, in general my feet are awesome! My scars are just thin silver lines that are barely visible. I am so incredibly pleased about this as for a long time they were still pink and looked like they might stay a dark purple, but they have completely faded now and look great.

My toes aren't straight. I did do a post where I was worried about this, but I think it's just my natural foot shape - either that or very strong muscles and tendons which insist on doing their own thing. So my big toes gently bend towards my other toes, but there is no bunion bump, the toes go a lot straighter when I'm standing on them than when they are in repose, and they look like totally normal feet, which was the aim after all.

I have no pain. None. My feet did used to get tired and sore but that hasn't happened for months now. I can be on them all day and they are completely OK. I did get my osteopath to massage them last time I went, but I think all feet need a little TLC occasionally, and it's nice to get a foot massage (the hubby hates feet so won't be offering this side of eternity).

As for shoes, this is the disappointing part. I will do a post on shoes, but in a nutshell, I can't wear high heels at all, I can wear low ones only for an hour or so and if they have a strap to hold my foot in and I walk really slowly, and I get a lot of pain under the balls of my feet if I try.

Currently I'm living in flats and flat boots (depending on the weather) and looking forward to getting my pretty sandals out in summer. I use my orthotics as much as I can (not in heels or sandals) and mostly I still wear the spacers, too, although I probably don't need to.

Any my toenail? Well, I got a treatment from the GP that you paint on your nail. I wasn't always great at remembering to do it, and expected it to take years to sort out, but by Christmas (so within six months of starting treatment) it was healed! I now have a totally normal toenail again. Which is a result.

So that's my whistlestop tour update. I will post better updates in more detail, with pictures, but at least this is something, huh?

I do read all your comments, even if I don't always reply (bad blogger, again) so do post me messages and I promise I will get better at blogging again. I was just too busy enjoying the freedom of happy, pain-free feet :)

21 weeks - approaching normality

HUGE APOLOGIES! I thought I'd published this but it was still in my drafts. Sorry! I think I was going to add some pictures, but instead I'll just get this posted and do pictures for you another time. I do have videos I've been doing but I have so much trouble getting them uploaded to YouTube I may give up on them. Anyway, hope this is still useful/interesting and I'll get writing more I promise.

*should have been published a month ago, whoops*

It's been three weeks since my last update, and I'm now 21 weeks post-surgery.

Last week I picked up my new, custom, orthotics from the hospital. That marked the end of my hospital appointments at the Royal Berks, apart from when I need the orthotics replacing in about two years' time.

The orthotics are as slim as they can make them. You can see from the picture that they are really thin, but the curve of them where they support my arch and heel means that they push my foot up, which means I need to be careful what kind of shoes I wear.

I am working on a post looking at shoes, but basically my orthotist would like me to wear big, clunky shoes with very rounded toes, either completely closed or with a wide strap, and generally pretty ugly.

So far I've found I can wear my orthotics in my flat ballerinas, which have a rounded toe, because although they have no strap they grip the back of my heel and my heel doesn't slip out of shoe when I walk, which is often a problem with very open shoes.

I also wear a pair of sporty styled shoes with two velcro straps over the foot.

As the weather warms up, I probably won't wear the orthotics as often as I should, because you cannot wear them in sandals, but I do make sure that I am conscious of my foot positioning and pronation, and I hope that will be enough to make up for it. I'll definitely wear them all winter.

Right now, I can't wear them the whole time anyway. The orthotist told me I had to build it up by wearing them for half an hour the first day, then an hour the next day, and two hours the next, and so on.

I find they do make my feet and legs ache, because the muscles are adjusting to the new positioning, so I'm still working on increasing the time. I can't wear them in the house unless I wear shoes inside, and I usually wear slippers, so it's taking me longer to build the time up, but I think that's OK.

I also saw my physiotherapist again. I know Ed has been reading the blog, so "Hello Ed!" *waves*

I had to admit I've not been doing my exercises as much as I should have been, because they make me hurt, so I have promised that over the next month I will do them regularly, and wear my orthotics, and hopefully when I go again he will discharge me.

I did go back to yoga and have done two sessions now. Surprisingly, it wasn't as hard as I expected.

During my recovery I have been making sure I did foot exercises, and calf stretches, and I found I was no where near as stiff as I thought I'd be. My teacher, Minna (who also reads this so "Hi Minna!" *waves again*) does try to tell me to take it easy but I like to push myself and I never do anything that is painful.

As expected, it was a challenge to roll over my toes to go from all fours into downward dog, for example, but I either do it one foot at a time, or I do both together but put a lot of my weight onto my hands and arms.

Over time, it will definitely get back to normal, I'm sure.

I am actually really pleased with my recovery; with my range of motion and with my lack of pain. I know I've worked hard on my recovery but I also feel very lucky and blessed.

I do still have the problem with my toenail on my left foot, but I can now see that there is a new nail growing under the old one, and the old one is growing out, so in six months that is going to be back to normal. It's irritating, but a temporary annoyance.

So there we are! I'm still doing my exercises, building up my general stamina for walking and standing, and sometimes overdoing it a bit! Some days I'm fine, some days my legs and feet really ache, but the progress is in the right direction and soon, in terms of medical appointments, I'll be flying solo!

As usual, please ask any questions or make any comments below.

An apology and a promise

Hello lovely readers

This is just a quick apology that I haven't updated in a while. I keep meaning to write a post about how I've been discharged from hospital, and how my physio is going, and I even made a video for you the other week, but finding enough time to sit down and write it is proving hard right now.

Thank you for still reading - nearly ten thousand views now! - and I promise I will write a post soon with details of my physio exercises, and how it's going.

There isn't so much to say now as there was at the beginning, because progress gets slower as the feet get better, but I do intend to continue posting at least for the first year of recovery, so please bear with me!

12 weeks! Moans and milestones.

Wow! Today is a special day. It is the 12-week "anniversary" of my operation. Is it me or has that three months gone slooooooowwwwwwwly?

I'll start with some positives.

I'm still able to drive and finding it gets easier, although sometimes if I have to use the clutch too much it makes my foot hurt. But it is so nice to have the freedom that driving brings.

Other than that, there's been nothing major. I'm still doing my exercises, which I still need to photograph/video for you, and still hobbling around.

That's my moan - that my left foot is still very painful following being yanked by Emma of orthotics, and I've decided to put in an official complaint about her as I feel she's set my recovery right back.

I limp on that foot and it is still extremely painful along the top of the foot, in a line down the centre of the toe and along the foot itself.

I've noticed that whereas a few weeks ago I was thinking about how to move or do things, I am now doing things without thinking.

While that is definitely progress, it does mean that sometimes I do something my feet don't like - and they really let me know!

I'm continuing to massage my scars every day, and they still look much as they did a few weeks ago.

In fact, I can see now why so many bunions blogs start to peter out around this stage of recovery.

There just isn't much to say!

That, and life begins to get busy again as you get back to normal and there's less time for blogging.

But I really do want this to continue to be a resource for people, so I'm determined to carry on blogging and updating you.

Tomorrow I go back to the hospital and I'm hoping to see Mr Nugent. If I don't get to see him I plan to ask for another appointment so that I can.

As I have very little to say, I thought I'd leave you with some pictures of my feet in socks, with the spacers in and without, so you can see the difference the spacers make, and the shape of my feet with no orthotics or spacers.

They're not quite as straight as I hoped, but I still think they're pretty good!

Here they are with the spacers (taken in daylight):




And without (using flash):




Remember, if there's anything you want to ask me, or ask me to write about, you can message me via the comments section below each blog post. I love to hear from my readers so feel free to write me a comment. I try and reply to all comments, although it may take me a few days.

Progress at 10 weeks 6 days

Despite today's blogfest, which has no doubt overwhelmed you with posts to read, I thought it was time for a specific progress update.

Incredibly, it's been two weeks and four days since I posted my video updates, and three weeks and a day since the last non-video progress report, so it's definitely overdue.

However, I think it's important to remember that the casts came off at seven weeks and one day, so it's not been that long since then.

If you want to catch up then click on the "progress" tab in the labels cloud to the right and they will come up, or find them in the archive, also to the right.

At seven weeks I was able to walk but only slowly, and I could go up on tiptoe between 2.5 and 3 inches

At eight weeks I was walking on stairs using alternate feet, and had slightly improved tiptoe-motion.

Now, I don't even think about what I'm doing on the stairs, and I have started going up on tiptoe to do things like reach into cupboards and get out of the bath, without even thinking about it, which is great.

Walking is getting a bit quicker, although I've been set back a bit by the orthotics lady who has made my left foot really painful with her yanking of my big toe.

The biggest bit of progress has been getting back behind the wheel.

As I live in the UK, I drive a manual car (aka a stick shift, as it is hilariously called in the US) so I have to be able to use the clutch safely.

Yesterday, I had a go at driving home from Tesco and I managed it! I did need the seat a bit closer to the wheel than usual, to avoid overstretching my toes, but I managed it.

I don't think I could cope with too much clutch control, like in heavy traffic, as they did ache, but I can definitely do short trips that don;t have too much stopping and starting.

However, I managed to crock myself a bit with the Tesco trip. What was supposed to be a half-hour shop turned into an hour and 90 minutes with hubby and the Little Lady and it was just too long to be on my feet, especially on my new orthotics.

My legs, especially my knees, really ache today and I've had to elevate them all day and try and rest.

Half an hour would have been fine I think, though, and it's all progress.

So there we are. I'll do some pictures of the tiptoes test and my exercises this week.

Wobbles and worries

Something I know from previous times I've had surgery that alters my appearance, is that at various points along the road to recovery I end up having moments of severe anxiety.

I'm sure this is just a normal part of the process. Having surgery is a major thing in itself, but add in the fact that you want certain results from it, both functional and aesthetic, and there is huge potential for worry.

My main aim with having my bunions done was to end the pain, but I also wanted to get rid of the unsightly bumps on the sides of my feet, and have pretty feet that I wasn't ashamed of people seeing.

I've had a couple of moments of worry, one of which is happening now, and they are both about the same thing - are my big toes really fixed or are they bending back over?

Now, you've seen the pictures, so you know that in reality the toes are much straighter than before. But I have times when I think they are shifting back over again. And there are times when it really does look like that, but then I wonder what other people's feet look like, and I reckon mine, now, probably look like most people's.

Or at least, most people who habitually wear shoes. It wouldn't be helpful to compare my feet to unshod peoples', which look very different (and presumably much more like all feet should naturally look).




As you can see, the shod foot looks like what we would call a 'normal'foot, whereas the shoe that hasn't worn shoes (quite possibly, ever) has more spread-out toes. I'm going to revisit this in a blog post at some point; I find the whole barefoot movement facinating and very appealing.

Anyway, what's been happening is that occasionally I look at my feet (first thing in the morning and in the bath are particular flashpoints) and think "oh my goodness! Look at my toes!! the big toes have gone back to where they were before! They're touching my second toes! It's all gone wrong!" and I feel like crying.

I'm sharing this only so other people who have this surgery will know that this reaction is normal and to be expected. It is also not rooted in reality.

Here's some pictures to show you what I mean.

When my feet have been resting for a while without the spacers, such as overnight, or in the bath, they tend to look like this.




Which does look horribly like the big toes have moved back toward the other toes. However, this picture is of the feet in mid air, not on the ground, plus some of what is happening is that the other toes have moved into a straighter position now the big toe is not constantly shoving them over to the side, so filling the space I've grown accustomed to seeing next to my big toe, especially when I have the spacers in.

Here is the foot placed on the ground.




I don't think the actual toe placement is any different, although the right one may have moved slightly, but being on the ground somehow makes the big toe look straighter, so my theory is that the pressure from the floor alters the shape of the rest of the foot. (And yes, I do seem to be holding my left foot at a funny angle, it's probably because it hurts, thanks to Emma of orthotics.)


And here are my feet after I walked (well, limped) around the living room, then stood still.




It's a subtle difference between this picture and the first one, but the toes have spread out slightly from the weight on them and the action of walking, and they look much more how I would want them to look (although never as straight as with the spacers, sadly).

So, I hope this shows how wobbles and worries are just that, and shouldn't be taken too seriously.

And if all else fails, I just have another look at my before picture.




Yep. Surgery definitely worked!

Mmm. Footfetti.

Today I was trying to get a good look at my feet beneath the casts, to see just how horribly scaly they are.

I was pulling at the edges of the bandages to try and peek under the cast, which, by the way, is pretty impossible even for someone as flexible as me, when I made a discovery.

Footfetti.

Yes, I've made that up. But let's say I've coined it, like Shakespeare, because isn't it a great word? It totally describes what happened: a load of flakes of dead skin from my feet came floating out of the cast as a released the bandage edge, like confetti at a zombie wedding.

Almost beautiful. And yet, not.

I nearly took a picture but figured peole might read this while eating lunch. Imagine instead a pile of very large flakes of dandruff. That's pretty much it.

Oh yeah, I am SO looking forward to the state of my feet on Tuesday.

Two sleeps to go!

Day 46: Feeling fed up and frustrated

I am so utterly fed up with my casts. It's been nearly seven weeks now and I am very ready for them to come off. Had Christmas not got in the way, they would have come off three days ago, so it's especially annoying to still be in them.

They are due off on Tuesday (day 50) but currently the whole of the UK is under an amber weather warning and around six inches of snow, which will sound laughable to readers in colder climes (Hello Canada! Hello Russia!) but that's about as much snow as it takes to cause major disruption over here.

So that may mean I can't even have them removed on Tuesday.

I'm hoping that my surgeon lives near to the hospital and as the roads will be gritted, I'll do everything I can do get there myself, but there is a possibility that it won't happen.

The casts are pretty uncomfortable now, due mainly I think to my feet being far less swollen now so the casts are able to move up and down on my feet a bit. They're also quite hot, which you'd think would be a good thing in this weather, but actually I find them too hot, especially at night, and end up hanging my feet out from under the covers in a bid to cool them down.

Also, I feel like what my feet really need is a good massage. I am longing to be able to rub in some cream and gently ease out the tension in them, not to mention getting to grips with the awful dry skin!

From what I can see, my feet are going to peel like banana skins once the casts are off. My toes are already cracking and flaking, and my heels are so dry that if I perch them on the sofa, afterwards there is a fine coating of what looks like sofa dandruff left behind. Grimsville.

I know, I'm making jokes again, but it's the only way I can deal with it. I have completely hit the wall.

Yesterday I made tea for the Little Lady and my friend's little boy, who is one. It didn't take long - just some boiled carrots, gnocchi, and a tomato sauce made by reducing a tin of plum tomatoes with a dash of bouillon and herbs.

But afterwards my feet were hurting from just that small amount of standing, and overnight I developed a sharp stabbing pain in the joint on my right foot, which might be unrelated but equally might not.

I've had the pain on and off throughout today, and of course I'm now worrying something is wrong, so it will be a real relief to see new X-rays on Tuesday, assuming we have no more snow.

And if we do? Well, I just might have to cry. Or cut them off myself, if I get too desperate.

Scaly lizard talons?

Occasionally, I think that some of the visitors to this blog might end up just a bit disappointed.

This isn't due to some lack in the writing - which I think could be said to rival Shakespeare, Bronte, Shriver and even Rowling (most definitely JK) - or the pictures, which might even give Liebowitz pause for thought, but in the subject matter itself.

I know. I find it incredible too. Believe me, I can think of few more scintillating subjects than bunions and related issues, but the stats don't lie, and mine hint that the search terms people use to end up on here were intended to direct them somewhere else entirely.

Obviously, those readers who came here via the simple search terms of "bunion", "bunions" or even "bunion blog" will have been nothing less than delighted with the academic-level research combined with gentle O'Briain-style wit displayed herein.

But I suspect that those gentle readers drawn here by searches such as "cutting my toe" and the more obvious "dipping dangling" were looking for something slightly more risque.

I am of course assuming that the former is a further niche of the niche section of foot fetishism described in this post. Otherwise I can't begin to imagine what "cutting my toe" was intended to lead to, and I don't think I want to.

Although I like to think that the person searching for "cast and swollen toes" was less a member of the foot fetishist army - a foot soldier, if you will - than someone trying to research their own forthcoming surgery and to see what might become of their feet.

Otherwise the whole foot fetishism thing is getting way out of control.

Interestingly, searches for the three types of feet, or specifically for Greek feet, or Roman feet, although curiously not Egyptian feet, crop up at least once a week. Before I'd stumbled on this categorisation of feet, it would never have occurred to me that it was such a hot topic here on the internet. Who knew?

So, dear reader, should you have come here via some search terms you hoped would lead you to something different, perhaps even videos of women standing bored and indifferent as they slip their feet in and out of some cheap stilettos bought especially for your viewing - and I use the word quite specifically - pleasure, then I apologise.

But if you were hoping, as you searched, that you'd find a blog written by someone going out of her mind with boredom and frustration and desperate to get her casts off her feet before they turn entirely into scaly lizard talons, then welcome, you've come to the right place.

And if you ended up reading all of this because you just searched for "scaly lizard talons", let this be some consolation.

Another day, another pair of shoes (with pictures)

With just a week to go before I get my casts off (eight more sleeps!) I thought I'd share with you the extremely unattractive velcro shoes I've been wearing since the operation, the really quite unattractive trainers I've had to buy to wear for the next however-many weeks, and the simply beautiful heels I hope one day to be able to wear.

First-up, the velcro beauties. I've had to wear these all the time since the operation. They have a hard solid sole that doesn't bend, to protect my joints as they heal.

They are black, fasten with velcro, only come in one orientation (there's no left and right, each shoe is exactly the same) and are frankly awful.

As you can see, they are particularly clunky and in my opinion they don't even fit! My toes hang over the end so they feel really vulnerable.

I cannot wait to be rid of these.

Originally I planned to spray paint them a metallic blue and then paint the soles red as a cheeky nod to Louboutin. But the spraying needed to be done outside, so I had to ask the hubby to do it...nuff said.

Anyway, as of next Tuesday I'll be able to wear trainers.

Many of you might be thinking "that's great". That would be people who like trainers. I hate them.

I am still seething at having had to spend my money on a pair of trainers, and although I tried to find the most attractive pair I could (attractive trainers, surely an oxymoron) I'm not happy. It's partly because, obviously, I can't try them on.

This is them.

I think they are maybe just about bearable.

Let's have a closer look at the metallic details.

I am a little concerned that they are too narrow in the forefoot, but luckily I bought them from Schuh who have a 365-day returns policy! As long as they are in saleable condition, I have a whole year to send them back. So when I go to the hospital next week I'll also take some other trainery things and the surgeon can choose what he thinks is best.

Worst case scenario: he says no to all of them.

Then I'll just wear the velcro beauties home and get ordering more from Schuh! At least I'll be able to try them on by then.

And lastly, here are the aspirational shoes for the future, my £16 Next bargain beauties.

Aren't they lovely?

Let's just have a close-up of those adorable sequins.

I'm looking forward to wearing them - maybe for Regatta in July. Well, it's good to have a goal.

Classified?

The thing I've noticed about the NHS, apart from the unreliable quality of care and general shabbiness of its buildings, is that it operates on its own version of the need-to-know basis.

Usually that means you get to know only that which you need to know, at the time you need to know it.

My experience of the NHS is that they operate more by telling you only some of what you need to know at the time you need to know it.

Which I guess is why I have no idea whether, at the moment, I am allowed to walk around lots on crutches, or if I'm supposed to walk only a bit, and whether it's OK to walk without my crutches (which I have been doing because I'm very stable now).

Today I was at a first birthday party (doing an entertainment slot of action songs, I love doing kids' parties!) and one of the guests was an orthopaedic theatre nurse. The last party I went to I met someone who works in healthcare as well. I seem to be attracting these people right now!

Anyway, this lady told me I should be "completely non-weight-bearing for six weeks".

Really?

"Oh yes," she said. "The bones in the foot are very small and they need to heal."

So now I'm totally confused.

Am I supposed to be resting still? My surgeon just told me to elevate my feet when I'm sitting but he didn't say how much sitting I should be doing.

I thought I was erring on the side of caution by mostly not walking anywhere, but now I wonder if I shouldn't be doing that?

The orthopaedic theatre nurse lady did say it was OK to be using crutches, so I'm thinking maybe I should just be keeping my weight off the front of my feet, and if so, I'm probably OK as I have been mostly doing that. (Apart from a few exploratory times when I've put my weight down through my whole foot. And to be honest, it's felt fine.)

Hopefully that hasn't done me any damage.

But how much easier would this process be if I'd been given some actual information, and comprehensive information at that?

Dangling, dipping, and other things you don't want to know about feet

In an effort to keep this blog interesting while all I'm doing is sitting around in casts with not a lot to say, I occsionally try and google interesting foot- and bunion-related stuff.

Now, teh interwebs being what it is, this has its dangers.

Just like when I was researching painkilling drugs and ended up on a forum that told me all about how to get the maximum high from various legal and illegal drugs (no, you can't have the address), looking into feet and the type of shoes I might be able to wear after the casts come off took me into a similarly bizarre hinterworld.

That of the foot fetishist.

To me, the words 'dipping' and 'dangling' are pretty innocuous. You dip pitta bread into hoummous and you dangle a worm on the end of a fishing line, right?

Well, if you're the kind of man who is into feet, those words mean something else.

They seem to be major keywords for men who somehow get their rocks off by watching women's feet in shoes.

Seriously, that's all there is to it.

'Dipping' is when women are standing up and take a foot out of their shoe before putting it back in again, you know like after a long time on your feet and your shoes hurt?

'Dangling' is when you're sitting with your legs crossed and you allow your shoe to hang off your toes instead of wearing it properly.

All highly erotic stuff, apparently.

Mind you, it's not exactly X-rated. YouTube seems full of videos of it. At least, that's what you get on your search using those as keywords (yeah, I kinda wanted to know more. I used to be a journalist, what can I say).

I did watch one, in the interests of research, and it was six minutes of a woman's feet - not even her head as well, or maybe that's part of the point - sticking her feet in and out of shoes or dangling them on her toes.

Seriously, no naughty stuff at all (thankfully).

Weird.

There's clearly a market for that kind of thing, which makes me wonder if that's why my first post - My name is Emma and I am a foot fetishist - is one of the my most-read? Am I coming up in searches for things a touch more exotic than bunion surgery?

Food for thought.

On vanity, with pictures

Spending all this time in bed has done nothing for my glamour quotient, I can tell you.

Unwashed hair scragged back into a ponytail, bare toenails poking dully out from bandages, no make-up, outfits consisting of tracksuit bottoms at best, pyjama bottoms at worst - something had to give.

The problem with being in the casts and bandages for so long is that my feet have inevitably got a bit manky. Not being able to soak them, or exfoliate, coupled with the constant pressure on my heels whether I'm lying down with my heels on the bed, or walking around on my heels, has left them looking really dry.

I also had a peek under the bandages the other day and eek! I had read that the skin would be dry and scaly but oh my goodness! It's like I've become half lizard. Yuck.

And it is so hard to do anything about it right now.

If you can stomach it, here are some pictures of my dry heels.

This is the left heel. This one is the better looking one, if you can imagine that.

And this is the very scaly right one.

Ugh!

I am itching to soak them and get rubbing with my foot file, but I can't. So I tried putting loads of body butter on them. I like Dove pro-age nourishing body butter, it smells nice and is easily absorbed and also not too pricey.

This is the heels after:

Left

Right

As you can see, they do look better, but it hasn't really lasted and feels a bit like plastering over the cracks.

If you're wondering what the black spot is on the side of my heel/ankle, it seems to be some kind of bruise. I have them on both feet and they appear to be fading very slowing. I assume they were caused by a clamp during surgery but I don't actually know.

For New Year, I went to a friend's party. The hubby drove us there and I hobbled in on crutches and then spent the whole night on the sofa with my feet up on a crate of beer! Good times.

I actually ended up really sore after that evening. I got ready as quickly as I could, but even sitting on a chair to do my make-up made my feet painful, so even before I had left the house I was in a lot of pain and it was really hard to walk.

When I got home again, they were horribly swollen and I had to use pillows overnight to elevate them while I slept and try and reduce the swelling.

I'm obviously not really ready yet for doing very much, which is quite frustrating.

I did look glam for my night out though:

My friend came round and helped my dye my hair, and then I did some experimental blue glitter eyeliner wings on my eyes.

Finally, I made sure my feet weren't left out and gave them what I call a Dorothy pedicure - red glitter!

I took that picture on New Year's Day, and you will notice I even managed to force my casts through the legs of my slim fit jeans! Hurrah! I can wear decent clothes again. Wouldn't want to try it with skinnies though.

Let's get practical

I know that at the moment, most of my readers are friends and family, or people who 'know' me off various internet forums (hi everyone! *waves* and apologies to those who are disturbed that I have a real name! lol).

But I started this blog mainly with the intention of it being helpful to people planning to have bunion surgery, because a lot of what I knew in advance about the recovery period was gleaned from blogs.

So this post is probably only really of interest if you are going to have bunion surgery, or a friend or relative is. But of course, everyone is welcome to read!

I found that my surgeon and hospital did not give me any information on how the recovery process would go, or what I might need to make it easier. If you go private, or live in a country where you have to go private, you might get a better level of information, but if you are NHS, you may well find this really useful.

So here are the things I think you need to know, or need to get.


THINGS YOU NEED TO GET

* A beany lap tray (or two). These are so useful, for using a laptop in bed, eating meals in bed, writing things in bed, you get the picture. Or even as a kind of table to have next to you on the bed. You definitely need one. I borrowed two.

* A pouffe or high footstool. For elevating your foot when you're able to get out of bed. Get one as high as you can, or add pillows/folded blankets to make it high enough. Your feet should be higher than your hips ideally. This also has the advantage of marking you out as needing special care, and even small children seem to honour that (well, a bit, anyway).

* A wheelchair. Not absolutely vital, but if you'd like to be able to leave the house before you can walk on crutches, or if you'd like to go further than you can walk on crutches, then a wheelchair means you can be pushed places. I used mine to go to the Little Lady's nativity play, which I would otherwise have had to miss. I got mine from the Red Cross.

* A decent pair of ergonomially designed crutches. Another thing that's not absolutely necessary, but they are much more comfortable than the NHS ones. I imagine you can get them from the Red Cross, although I borrowed mine.

* A toilet frame. Another Red Cross item. I've already said in another post how much I have valued this piece of equipment. It has enabled me to go to the toilet by myself, which is vital for dignity. Without it I would have had to have someone lift me on and off the toilet.

* A large pair of soft socks. For keeping your toes warm when/if you go outside. You can buy fleece things on the LimbO website but they are a tenner (!) and of no use afterwards. You could always make a fleece toe cover, but socks are easier. I bought a supersoft thermal pair in a size larger than my usual one (6-11 when I am a 6).

* Lots of pillows. For elevating your feet and propping yourself up. I use three behind me and about four for my feet, plus a rolled-up duvet tied to keep it rolled. Yes, it is a lot!

* Lactulose. We covered this before but both anaesthetics and codeine cause constipation. Lactulose is a gentle way to resolve it. Nuff said.

* Help at home. There is no way you will manage on your own, even if you have batch-cooked and/or live on ready meals or takeaways. You will get tired easily, you have very limited mobility, it is not going to work. Try and organise someone to be with you 24/7 for at least four weeks (ideally more), or for someone to come in to do mealtimes and cleaning if that isn't possible. If all else fails, employ a cleaner and cook. Seriously. Do not try to do it yourself.

* A TV in your bedroom (if you don't have one already). I hooked up an old computer in our bedroom so I can watch catch-up TV. I haven't used it all that much, but I prefer it to watching TV on the laptop, and it's nice to have it available.

* Waterproof cast covers if you want to be able to shower (or you can strip wash at the sink instead). If you do want to shower, I suggest you might also want a waterproof chair to sit on while you do it. Personally, I haven't bothered with showering but am just washing at the sink. My surgeon recommended LimbO covers, but at £15 each, I decided to live without. YMMV.

* Mobility scooter I think I'm going to hire one of these when the hubby goes back to work. I can walk with crutches a little now but as I have the Little Lady, I'm concerned I won't be able to keep up with her or keep her safe. With a mobility scooter, she can sit on my lap while we ride into town or to preschool. I definitely think it will give me more freedom than I would otherwise have, and would enable me to go shopping.


WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW

* You will need help washing your hair. If you don't want to be a greaseball for nearly two months, then you will need to get help to wash your hair. The way I have found works best for me is to sit on a chair next to the bath. I sit on the chair sideways with my back facing the bath and then lean back on the edge of the bath, which I pad with a folded-up towel. You will get wet! Get a friend or loved one to wash your hair for you. If you prefer (and I do) they can just wet and rinse it while you do the actual shampooing and conditioning. This does make the back of your neck hurt so sitting up at points throughout is helpful.

* You will have to strip wash. Before I had my casts changed, I sat on a chair at the sink, then washed with a flannel. I am lucky enough to have a tilting wall mirror so I could see my face to wash it, but you could use a standalone mirror, like a shaving mirror. Now I have the smaller casts, I am able to stand at the sink instead of sitting.

* You will have almost no concentration. Before I had the operation I thought I could spend my recovery time knitting, writing and generally catching up on things. But I have found that I can't concentrate on things for too long, so have spent most of my time surfing the net, reading magazines (even books are beyond me!) and doing only things that I can spend small amounts of time on. This is not the time to decide to write that novel, IMO.

There are probably more, and I'll edit and add to this post as they occur to me or as I encounter them. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Freedom is a new cast.

Ah! The sweet, sweet joy of being freed! The deep blue of the living room carpet! The brighter daylight through the front room windows! The smooth exapnse of the kitchen floor!

Yes, dear readers. I have been downstairs. T'was a momentous occasion.

Obviously, I had to go down the stairs in order to go to hospital yesterday. I didn't abseil out of the Little Lady's bedroom window.

But when I got home from hospital, I scuttled straight back upstairs again, to my cosy pit nest where I've been very happy hibernating from the cold this last fortnight.

See? It's all set up for me. Who wouldn't want to be there?

But today I had a friend come round for a cuppa and I thought 'why not entertain downstairs?'.

Why not indeed, verily and forsooth? (Sorry, I'm in a funny mood today. Must be all this freedom.)

Employing the 'puppet crab' method, I edged sideways down the stairs, clinging onto the bannister. Classy and graceful, as always.

I ditched the crutches because I have found that I can walk around as long as take weird high steps (because I can't bend my feet). It's a bit like powerwalking only it is very very slow. And hilarious to watch. Kudos to the hubby for not laughing.

My friend and I sat in the living room, my feet perched on a borrowed pouffe (thanks Hannah!) and it was nice to be out of the bedroom.

So nice that I had lunch at the kitchen table. I know! Living dangerously is my second hobby.

But sadly, after a couple of hours my feet were objecting. Despite the surgeon telling me to continue to elevate them, I forgot while I had lunch, and that short period - around half an hour - of them being down was enough for them to swell.

I could feel the casts getting tight, the incisions throbbing.

So I scuttled back upstairs to my lovely pit and took some paracetamol and ibuprofen. I also remembered to do my heparin injection and damn that stuff stings when you're not on codeine!

So freedom is great, for sure, but I think too much of a good thing can be dangerous. Maybe I'll ease myself back into the world slowly.

The big reveal! Sort of. With pictures.

So. You're all here for The Grand Unveiling, yes? The big reveal. The moment of "ta-daa".

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but the hospital visit wasn't quite what I expected.

Yes, the casts were removed, and yes, there are pictures of my feet, but they were quickly wrapped up again and put in new casts which I have to keep on for another four weeks. I know! I thought it was a long time too!

So, we get another Big Reveal in a months' time. Or actually, in five weeks' time because for some reason my next appointment is January 22, just the day before my birthday (hint, hint).

But you want to know all about today, no?

My lovely hubby drove me and the Little Lady to the drop-off point, then parked the car while I laboriously crutched my way through the hospital to the reception to meet him, and to catch the 'buggy bus' to the clinic.

It took me ages to get there - it's the longest I've 'walked' since the operation and I was pretty exhausted. I was glad to get on the buggy bus to go to the clinic.

I checked in, and was sent off to be irradiated.

As I went into the X-ray room, the technician, who looked younger than me, said "Oh you've had both done! I didn't think you could have both at the same time."

It turned out that she had had one bunion done in February this year, although not by Mr Nugent, and she needed the other one doing but "can't afford another six weeks off work".

That's one reason I had mine done together - the recovery is slightly more awkward because you don't have even one good foot, but once it's done, it's done.

The technician had metal screws in her foot, whereas my pins will dissolve, so we had slightly different procedures, but she showed me her foot and how straight her big toe is now, and I started to get a little bit excited about seeing mine.

She did two X-rays of each foot, sent them through to Mr Nugent, and I went back to the clinic where he was waiting to enact the reveal.

First, Mr Nugent cut off the bandages, and then he simply wiggled and slid the casts off my feet. I did brace myself for some pain but it was actually just really tickly! I'm not good with having my feet touched so it was hilarious.

I was pretty amazed by how my feet looked. They are so thin! Now the lump of the bunion has gone my whole foot shape has changed. Yes, I know that's the point but I just could not envisage it until I saw it. It's incredible.

There wasn't much time to take pictures, because as soon as they were uncovered, Mr Nugent was making some toe separators out of quick-hardening putty (which the Little Lady was pleased to note was pink) and then wrapping my feet up again in some fluffy padding, before putting a new cast on.

He then taped bandages over the cast, just like before, and there we were. Done.

"The X-rays look good," he said, almost as an aside. And that was it.

Actually, there was a teensy bit of gossip but I'll share that on another post. This one is all about me!

So here we go with the pictures. The initial rating on the Grimometer is zero.

In this first one, Mr Nugent has removed the cast from my right foot and is making the putty toe separator by moulding it between my toes and letting it harden. You can see that he has cut the bandage on my left foot, and it is hanging loose round my ankle.

In this next one, he has removed the cast from the left foot, and the toe separator on the right is hardening. This gives you a real idea of the new shape of my feet. They are amazeballs!

My left toes look like I'm holding them funny, but that's just how they were. I was too scared to wiggle them! I guess once I'm back in shoes and walking around they'll start to settle down.

So here are both feet with new toe separators. You can see the fading arrows on my feet from the surgery, and the slight tan I appear to have is the yellow antiseptic stuff they paint onto you prior to operating.


If you've been waiting for the grimometer warning, here it is. The next few pictures show my steri-strip stitches. I don't personally think it looks that grim, but I'll give it a 5/10 rating. If you want to avoid them, I suggest scrolling to the very bottom then slowly working back up till you see a picture of my feet wrapped in fluffy stuff. Stop there and read from that point.

Here's a small break so you don't unexpectedly see the pictures of the stitches. Off you go squeamish ones!

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OK, those with strong stomaches still with me? Here we go!

So these are the steri-strip stitches on my right foot. The incision is getting on for three inches long. In this one, the new shape of my foot looks like it might be Roman (see this post) which is interesting. I guess the Greek shape had only appeared because of my bunions making the big toes look shorter, because of the angle they leant at. And it means the Little Lady does have my feet, so I'll have to make sure I look after them.

Another angle of the same foot. That's Mr Nugent lurking in the background.

The left foot's stitches. There's a bit more blood here, which might be why this one has been slightly more painful.


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The next photos are back to zero on the Grimometer scale. Squeamish people can rejoin the post here.

All wrapped up in fluffy padding and waiting for a new cast.

And here they are back at home in the new casts. They don't look much different, but actually the circumference of each cast is just over an inch less than the old ones, which shows how much swelling there was immediately after surgery.

I don't think my feet are swollen at all now. They certainly didn't look it today.

I think they looked amazing, and I am so excited to get them properly unwrapped in five weeks' time!

Are you Roman, Egyptian or Greek?

Very soon I will get to 'meet my feet' as it were, and to see how well Mr Nugent was able to correct the deformity.

So I thought I'd do a quick post on feet and their shapes.

Here are my feet as they were before the surgery:

And for comparison, here are the Little Lady's gorgeous feet. You can probably tell she took the picture herself.

While I was doing research for this blog (yes, I do research! It's not just my thoughts spewed out onto the screen!), I found the following diagram. Apparently everyone has one of these three types of feet.

Mine are Greek, with a longer second toe. (A cruel date once told me I had enough second toe to make two toes with, starting off my negative obsession with my feet.)

My husband's are Egyptian, with toes that slope downwards in decreasing height from a longer big toe.

The little Lady looks like she has Roman feet, where the big toe and second toe (and sometimes the third toe too) are all the same length.

Which is weird, because you'd think she would get her feet from one of us. I wonder if I used to have Roman feet, but the big toe moving over caused my second toe to change length? I have read that that can happen.

Unless I can dig out some old photos of my feet as a small child, I guess I'll never know. If I find any, I'll be sure to post them though.

What shape feet do you have? What's your favourite shape? I think I like Roman feet the best.

The view from my bed - picture post

I thought some of you might be wondering what it's like to be bedbound for a couple of weeks.

Being totally honest, I've quite enjoyed it! As a mum of a three-year-old, life tends to be lived at high-octane level, so the chance to kick back, relax, and just be at leisure has been nice.

I've acually done even less than I thought I would while I was in bed. I had planned to do some knitting, maybe some crafts, read loads of books, blog, write, and watch TV.

What I've done is go on the internet, blog, go on the internet, watch TV, go on the internet, read, go on the internet, sleep, go on the internet and, erm, go on the internet.

Maybe if I'd kept off the internet some of the other stuff might have got done!

I did paint the nails on my left hand today, trying out some paint effects so I can decide what to do on the toes that I can see out of my bandages. I am fed up of looking at bare toenails so was experimenting with two of my top coats - a gold glitter suspension in clear, and an iridescent flake glitter in clear - over bases of white, gold and a pale pinky-white that is used for French manicures.

Here's the result:

Feel free to leave a comment below and tell me which one is your favourite.

So, onto my view. I used the panoramic assist on my camera, but I can't get them to display side by side on the blog, and right now I can't be bothered to stick them in word and then save it as a whole picture, so you'll have to piece it together in your own head.

This one is of my table. It's one of those TV tables, with two legs that curve down and underneath so you can pull it over your lap. We bought it after we had the Little Lady, so I could breastfeed and eat/surf the net at the same time, but it's been pretty handy for this too, as it pulls over the bed like the tables in hospital.



And this next one is my bedside table. It looks cluttered, but that's because I have about three drinks on there - water, tea and a homemade smoothie from my lovely friend Ish. She made it with raspberries, watercress, orange and TOFU! It tasted amazing and was presumably really healthy.



The next one is what I look at most of the time, because it's directly in front of me - the TV! My lovely hubby set up our old computer in our room so I can use the internet to watch TV live, or on catch-up. We don't have televisions in bedrooms in our house, that's a house rule, but we made an exception for my recovery period. Today, the Little Lady and I watched The Little Mermaid together so she got some Mummy Time and it was lovely.

So there you are. I'll tell you what, it's going to be exciting going downstairs after a fortnight of being up here!

Two steps forward, one stumble back - day 13

Sub-titled Progress and A Cautionary Tale

Because I've read in so many other people's blogs that doing too much too soon causes pain and can even affect your overall recovery, I've been really erring on the side of caution, and doing everything I can to maximise my recovery.

So I've been elevating all the time, even overnight, and only walking around to go to the bathroom.

But pride comes before a fall. In my case, literally.

To get around, I'm using the hospital-issue crutches. I do have some lovely ergonomic-handled ones my friend George has lent me, but I'm saving those for downstairs. It's like an incentive to graduate!

Anyway, when I first came hom from hospital I was properly crippled. I could hardly bear to put weight on my feet, and really bore my weight through the crutches. It took me ages to shuffle slowly and painstakingly to the bathroom.

In fact, I borrowed a toilet frame from the Red Cross so that I have help to get onto the toilet by myself. Here it is:

It just sits around the toilet and has handles at just below hip height, which means I can hobble in on crutches, lean the crutches against the wall while leaning my weight on the frame, and then use both frame handles to lower myself. They're also extremely useful to get back up again.

I honestly think that without this frame I'd have needed physical help to sit down on the loo and get back off it again, so it's really saved my dignity (which presumably I've just lost through telling you all this).

I have borrowed a few things from the Red Cross: the toilet frame, a wheelchair for when I go outside further than I can hobble (pretty much everywhere for a while) and I did also borrow a commode chair, as I'd read from another blogger that their pain was so bad they couldn't do anything more than slide from bed to commode.

Thankfully, I haven't needed it so it will be returned unused.

The Red Cross is amazing. They are a charity, so they lend you the equipment for just a small £5 deposit. And then you just pay what you can afford for the hire. Obviously, we will be giving a reasonable donation because we're not poor, but how fabulous for those people who don't have much money, because the hospital won't help at all - they refused to lend me a wheelchair.

I found out about it accidentally while Googling, but if you want to know more then have a look at their website here, and if you are able, please consider giving them a donation in recognition of their incredible work.

Back to my progress report.

So at first I could hardly move, it hurt and was difficult and I really NEEDED those crutches.

About three or four days ago, so on day nine or ten after surgery, I realised that I wasn't leaning on the crutches so much, In fact, I was able to walk a few steps just holding the crutches.

I experimented a bit, and discovered that I could stand without the crutches or any other support, so suddenly I was able to turn the light on for myself, or open my curtains, instead of having to call for help.

And that was my problem. I got a bit cocky on the crutches. And yesterday, I was speeding back to the bedroom when I lost my balance. I stumbled, which is fine if your feet haven't been sliced and diced, but was not great for me.

I banged my left foot on the floor trying to catch my balance. I didn't get shooting agonising pain or anything like that; in fact at first I thought I'd got away with it.

But since then, my left foot has been unhappy with me. It aches and twinges at the place where I knocked it, which just happened to be the exact spot where it's been cut open.

It's obviously not very happy. And I feel so stupid for rushing around and not taking it easy. After all, I'm not in any kind of hurry at the moment.

So this is my cautionary tale. If you're having this surgery, make sure you take all parts of your recovery slowly. Don't rush, don't push yourself too far too fast.

From now on, I'm staying like a little old lady and leaving the speeding to Lewis Hamilton.